Whitehood

To the one who changed after meeting new friends,

You think deeply about the matters that get trivialized by others. You probably stay up late mulling over a petty fight that took place between you and your friend. A fight, long forgotten, by your friend who by now must have drifted off to sleep, leaves you to sulk all night. It takes you comparatively more time than your friends to get such small things off of your mind and move on.

Hey You,

To the Person, I see in the Mirror daily 

Dear You,

Hi! It’s been a long time since we sat together to have a chit-chat session. So I’m here again, standing right in front of you, reading this letter out loud to you.

Every morning I come here and look at you. Every morning I take a few minutes to stare at you with my questions. And every morning I walk away without getting any answers. I don’t know what it is that is creating this gap between us. But I want to erase whatever it is.

My questions include complaints that I have for you. I’m always complaining about how you think, about how you look at the world, about your plans for your life and a million other things that do not satisfy me. The jar of my questions is actually filled with such useless complaints and needless expectations. These expectations are those that are left unfulfilled by the world and I pour them on you. I discard all that here without even thinking you’re not even at fault!

So I’m here to mend things. I’m here to apologize. I’m here to make peace with the fact that you and I are one. I’m here to tell you that you are not incomplete without those who left you; you are not unsuccessful if you failed at a task; you are not dumb if you don’t know everything; you are not bad if you said no to someone; you are not a coward if you take time to analyze your risks and plan your moves forward; you are not alone if you don’t have anyone to talk to; you are not what I’ve always made you think you are.

You are so much more! You are the reason why I wake up every morning. You taught me to take my own stand. You are the reason why my courage never falls when I know I’m right. You taught me to realize and apologize whenever I go wrong.

And that is why I’m here today. I promise to make you feel proud. And more than that, I promise to make you happy. I promise to work with all my heart and accept whatever comes my way without any critical analysis. I promise to be there for you. I promise to come here every morning and smile at you with love rather than looking at you with doubts.

I know, you are my one and only answer to everything.

People come and depart for a reason and now, I know the reason. I know why you came to me like a beautiful raindrop and left like unexpected lightning.

Are you too thinking about crossing the sea to reach that stranded island? Do your twinkling yet

Let's skip the formalities, please? Cause we both know how awkward it gets and how badly we suck at introductions.

Well, it's never easy to open up, it's never easy to put down that guard, it's never easy to accept yourself, except at some correct time, with some correct people, when it's just as fluent as it can be.

Trauma, like a slow poison, kills your heart and your happiness from within. It sucks hope out of you. When we're stuck onto our past, we're actually planting a poisonous -tree in the core of our being. By the time we realize this, it's already too late-- too late to salvage the broken pieces of ourselves. Life's seldom fair to any of us. But the pain we inflict upon ourselves, craving to revisit our pasts is far scarier than life's unfairness.

We're doing this wrong-- romanticizing pain, waiting for someone to come and save our broken selves, to accept us the way we fail to accept ourselves. The harsh truth is that for people to love you, you need to allow yourself to feel worthy of love. You need to move on! Also, moving on from the past, or healing for that matter is not linear. To heal, you will need to forgive yourself, completely and repeatedly. You need to be there for yourself. You need to not fail yourself, even when others fail you.

Peace is something that you owe to yourself. You owe it to yourself to live a fulfilling life, the kind you have dreamt of when you were still a child, untouched by the trauma, unaware of the monsters living in each of our heads. The bottom-line here is, what's already happened cannot be changed, no matter how hard you wish to go back in time and make everything alright. Even when things seem to be falling apart, in the bigger picture, they might be all falling into place.

Humans get emotionally attached to the things they have lived long enough with. Pain and memories are no different. Cutting those strings off will be painful, undoubtedly, but it'll also save you from a lifetime of agony. So, however difficult and it seems, remember that you're strong enough to do this.

-Hope and healing-
 beloved 

There are so many patterns of life that could show you how the design works with life. Re-reading the previous page would never lead you to the climax, with the happy ending.

Honestly, it's not really your fault that you keep criticizing yourself every single day. It's also unintentional when you blame yourself for not being good at things that others around you are good at. And it's definitely not just a phase where you feel low and cry over for not being good enough.

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You must be wondering who I am and why I'm writing this letter to y'all. Let's just say I'm the product of everything wrong with your parenting. Oh yes! There is a thing called parenting, and I'm sorry to break this to you, but you aren't acing at it.

It's okay to feel broken sometimes. Having you heartbroken by the person who does not appreciate you or see beyond your flaws are never worth crying for. You will obviously make mistakes, but these mistakes make you who you are, and without them, you can never be as strong as a person.